My bond with my son has always been strong but Rob was Tom's rock, friend and role model; he would be spitting mad if he had read your media attacks on him over the past 12 months and would have given you a franker view than mine.
However, Tom didn't want to back out. While the competition had no real incentive for him, Tom had made the commitment to his performance director Alexei Evangulov and to British Diving and - despite me trying to convince him otherwise - he got his head down and ploughed on. He said he'd take a break after, so what was five more weeks of training?
Any mum will know that for an 18-year-old to make this decision requires a lot of self-discipline. Tom was being offered opportunities left, right and centre to appear at exciting award ceremonies, red-carpet events, five-star holidays, not to mention the fact he hadn't 'hung out' with his friends for the past four months.
So off to Australia he went alone (none of his direct coaching team went, which highlights the importance of this competition) and he came away with not just one, but two gold medals - one in an event he doesn't normally compete in. I was so proud of him. A great way to end the year. Now it was about time for my son to have some fun and let his hair down. He had done his job. He had also played a key role in funding your organisation. So can you not see why I'm so angry with your lack of support?
Your comments in February 2012 were a big enough blow: Tom was five months away from the biggest competition in his life where he should have as much support as possible and you spoke out to him via the media after Alexei had let emotion take over at a press conference and after Tom's team had met your team to discuss the real issues.
As it turned out, one of the issues then was that there was a lack of funding for a masseur for Tom, which Alexei wanted... so Tom - not British Swimming - funded this. From memory it cost Tom £3,000. We said nothing at the time.
The other issue was a trip to Sydney Zoo organised by British Swimming where he was swamped by fans. Alexei hated this. However, British Swimming - not Tom - organised the visit. So to now see your remarks three-and-a-half years before the next Olympics makes me so angry.
Tom has always worked his hardest when it comes to his training. Diving has always taken priority. We have all worked closely with Tom's coaching team (Andy and Alexei) plus Tom's agents to create a plan that ensures he has the best path for success.
Do you communicate with anyone, David? Perhaps you should try to talk to Tom? Of course the headlines make you look important and help protect you should Tom not deliver any medals. Wouldn't it be better to work with one of your most important athletes rather than against him?
Had you been kept up to date you would know that we all agreed to keep Tom's commercial days to a minimum and ensured no training was missed in the two years prior to the Games unless approved by everybody.
The irony is that while all Tom's sponsors respected this and used no days in the months leading up to the Games, the only request that was not originally approved came from British Swimming. Funny how things change when it suits British Swimming!
It's also baffling that you openly criticise Tom when you yourself have called in special favours for Tom to make appearances (such as that eight-hour trip to Loughborough in 2011 when I last saw you).
Tom trained in December, also attending an intensive training camp the week before Christmas, and continues to train this month. Splash! is now one weekend day of his time. His coach and mentor is also part of the show. If you were worried, why did you not speak to Andy? If you had actually watched Splash! you would have seen him as a judge.
The Chinese comparisons really annoy me - and I know that they annoy Tom. He was not born in Beijing. He was born in Plymouth. I saw a documentary a few years ago which showed the Chinese boot-camp style of training in sport. This is not Tom. He would not function if his life was just diving.
He is very bright, works incredibly hard and over the last 10 years has given up so much to focus on his 2012 Olympic goal. I know that he will do the same for 2016. However, Tom is never going to lead a lifestyle similar to a Chinese diver.
I am sure that he will always be the best he can be in his sport. Splash! is an appropriate show for Tom. Yes, it can improve following the first show. However, a lot of grandparents, mums, teenagers and kids loved it.
As you did not watch the show, I can tell you that it is a diving show and it promotes a key sport that is under your leadership.
You told Tom's agent on Monday that it would do nothing to help the sport in the UK. How ironic to see that your marketing department has today promoted watching Splash! on Twitter to British Swimming's followers. So you are worried about Tom's performances? Well, I am worried about yours.
A leader should motivate his team, not make them think: 'Why do I bother?' Did you speak out to protect your UK Sport funding and be seen to do the right thing for them? Well, if UK Sport want to demotivate the key person in a sport, carry on David. Good work.
While you may want Tom to do more training, I would like you to do leadership, media and motivation courses. Tom may benefit from some UK Sport funding but he has to fund his own life from sponsorship and media work. When the Splash! opportunity came to us, it was a completely appropriate one for him and we also believed that it would help our sport long term - there is not a lot of diving or swimming for that matter on television, David. That is meant to be your job.
Tom, though, is just giving some advice and encouragement - and having some fun. I am glad that he is doing Splash! even though I don't like to read negative reviews of the show. Those opinions, though, I can handle. Yours I would like you to manage given your role within the sport and the impact that it is having on my son.
Yours sincerely,
Debbie Daley
